苹果的粗鲁 Time to spit out more words of praise for Apple
Last week, at the very moment I was writing a column praising Apple for its plain way with words, Steve Jobs was entering into an e-mail exchange with a young woman that took plainness to a whole new level. | 前一阵子，正在我写专栏称赞苹果平实的语言风格的时候，史蒂夫•乔布斯(Steve Jobs)正在与一个女生电子邮件往来。乔布斯的电子邮件又将平实直率带到了一个全新的水平。 |
Chelsea Isaacs, a student from Long Island University, had got in touch with the Apple press office to get some information about the iPad for a paper she was writing. Six times she tried, but no response. So she e-mailed the chief executive to complain. | 长岛大学(Long Island University)学生切尔茜•艾萨克斯(Chelsea Isaacs)为了完成论文而联系苹果新闻办公室，索取有关iPad的信息。她尝试了六次都没有回音，于是就给CEO发电子邮件抱怨。 |
“Mr Jobs, I humbly ask why Apple is so wonderfully attentive to the needs of students, whether it be with the latest, greatest invention or the company’s helpful customer service line, and yet, ironically, the media relations department fails to answer any of my questions which are, as I have repeatedly told them, essential to my academic performance.” | “乔布斯先生，我向您谦卑地请教，既然苹果能够无比专注地满足学生需求，无论是最新、最伟大的发明还是贵公司的客服专线都是如此，媒体关系部门却为何颇为讽刺地不能回答我的任何问题，我已一再告知这些问题对我的学业成绩至关重要。” |
Mr Jobs replied: “Our goals do not include helping you get a good grade. Sorry.” | 乔布斯回复道：“我们的经营目标不包括帮你拿高分。抱歉。” |
Chelsea composed another long message in which she argued that Apple should have answered out of common courtesy. | 切尔茜又写了一封长信争辩道，即使是出于普通的礼貌，苹果也应该答复。 |
This time he responded: “Nope. We have over 300 million users and we can’t respond to their requests unless they involve a problem of some kind. Sorry.” | 这次乔布斯回复：“不。我们有超过3亿用户，除非他们遇到某种问题，否则就不能回应他们的请求。抱歉。” |
So she pointed out she was a customer and did have a problem. | 于是她指出，她是一名顾客，而且的确有问题。 |
He replied: “Please leave us alone.” | 乔布斯回复：“别再烦我们了。” |
It is just possible that Mr Jobs himself didn’t write these e-mails. Indeed, Apple’s media relations department has no more replied to queries on that score than they have to Chelsea’s. | 这些邮件可能并不是乔布斯本人所写。的确，苹果媒体关系部门对有关这一点的垂询，与他们对切尔茜的询问一样，都未予回应。 |
Yet whether he did or not, the world is judging him badly. “Profoundly unhelpful,” says the Guardian. Various Apple-hating readers have gloatingly forwarded the exchange to me, inviting me to swallow my words of praise. | 不管是否本人所写，全世界对乔布斯的态度都一样苛刻。《卫报》说他“极端不愿帮助。”许多讨厌苹果的读者幸灾乐祸地向我转发了这些邮件往来，劝我收回对苹果的赞扬。 |
But I’m not going to swallow them. I’m going to spit out some more. Steve Jobs may be a slightly unpleasant piece of work, scary and arrogant. But if these messages are his, I congratulate him on his clarity, his tetchiness and on being entirely in the right. | 不过我不但不会收回，反而会继续夸奖。史蒂夫•乔布斯此人也许既吓人又傲慢，不讨人喜欢。但如果这些电邮是他所写，我倒是会赞赏他清晰表述、不客气并且完全有理。 |
Chelsea is to be congratulated, too. By goading the head of Apple, she has unwittingly stumbled on a much better topic for a journalistic paper than some nonsense about the iPad. | 也应当祝贺切尔茜。她通过招惹苹果的老板，无意间为自己的新闻学论文找到了一个比有关iPad的废话好得多的话题。 |
The first lesson is about brevity. Her initial message was 473 words. His was 12. His words were short and sharp and easy to understand. Hers less so. Even in the one unwieldy sentence quoted above, she makes three elementary mistakes. She uses the word “humble” when she isn’t. She refers to irony when there is none. And sarcasm is always a mistake in an e-mail, especially if you are trying to get your own way. | 这件事给我们上的第一课是要简洁。切尔茜的电邮长达473词，而乔布斯只用了12个 词。乔布斯的语言简短、尖锐、容易理解。而切尔茜的语言就稍逊几分。即使是上文引用的那个笨拙的长句中，切尔茜也犯了三个基本错误。她自称“谦卑”言不由 衷，说到“讽刺”却并无讽刺。此外，在电子邮件中进行讥讽并不妥当，尤其是如果你要搞定一件事。 |
The next lesson is that it is OK for a CEO to be rude to a customer. The customer need not always be king, especially when he or she is behaving like a spoilt, tiresome brat. So long as the rudeness doesn’t involve a loss of dignity and it isn’t being used, Michael O’Leary-style, as a tiresome stunt to get attention for Ryanair, then it is fine. | 第二课是CEO对顾客粗鲁未尝不可，顾客未必是上帝，尤其是当他或她自以为是、令人生厌时。只要这种粗鲁不像迈克尔•奥利瑞(Michael O'Leary)为了引起人们对Ryanair的注意而搞出的把戏一样有损尊严就好。 |
Moreover, in this particular case, Mr Jobs’ grumpiness was in the public interest. He was making a vital, though unfashionable, point about priorities. If I were an Apple shareholder I’d be reassured to know that the company’s top priority did not include helping out Chelsea. | 此外，在这个特例中，乔布斯的坏脾气符合公共利益。他指出了公司经营的真正重心，虽然听起来不合时尚。如果我是苹果的股东，我会放心地知道：该公司的头等大事并不包括帮助切尔茜。 |
The point needs to be made harshly, because modern students simply don’t get it. I often get e-mails from them saying: “I’m doing an essay on marketing. Can you please send me everything you’ve written on this subject?” Next time I’m going to tell them straight: “No, I can’t. It’s not my job.” | 这个观点必须要以尖锐的方式指出，因为现在的学生根本就不明白。我经常收到学生们的电子邮件“我正在写一篇关于营销的文章。请问您能不能把您就此主题写过的所有文章发过来？”下次我会直接告诉他们：“不行。这不是我的工作。” |
When Mr Jobs was a student, if he needed help I daresay he did what we all did back then: ask a teacher, or work it out yourself. But Chelsea’s generation has been duped by the self-esteem movement into believing its development is a matter of general concern, and then duped some more by the internet, which has taught it that the world is democratic and it can have everything right now. | 我敢说，当乔布斯还是学生时，如果需要帮助，他一定会按照我们当时的普遍做法，问老师或自己想办法解决。然而切尔茜这一代人在“自尊运动”的蛊惑下，认为自身的发展是需要普遍关注的问题。他们又受到互联网蛊惑，认为世界是民主的，而且任何东西都能即刻拿到。 |
Alas, these beliefs sit so deep, that Mr Jobs’ forceful messages have not struck anywhere near home: Chelsea was last week still indignantly waiting for the busy head of one of the world’s most remarkable companies to say sorry. | 这种想法根深蒂固，乔布斯强烈的言辞没有产生效果：切尔茜上周还在愤慨地等待忙碌的乔布斯道歉，而不管对方是世界上最引人瞩目公司之一的掌门人。 |
“I have nothing against him,” she said magnanimously. “I hope he gives me a call.” | 切尔茜宽洪大量地说：“我并不反感他。我希望他给我打个电话。” |
I trust she will have to wait an eternity for that call, and in the meantime will grow up and get a job and discover that working life is not a democracy and there is a hierarchy, and being just a little humble isn’t a bad way to start. | 我相信她永远也等不来这个电话。她会长大、会找个工作，她会发现工作并不民主，而是层级分明，起步时稍微谦卑一些倒也不坏。 |
| 译者/王柯伦 |
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